A counsellor is not like a doctor:It would be nice if therapy worked like surgery: you come in, tell the counsellor that you're depressed, an anaesthetic is administered and you wake up minus your depression. But counselling is not like that; it is more of a partnership in which counsellor and client work together to gain a deeper understanding of what troubles you, the client. Akin to a personal trainer, the counsellor can encourage you, keep you focused, challenge you, help you delve deeper, but you, the client, have to do a lot of the sweat and toil.
Before the session:Each session lasts 50 minutes which you hope will have a beneficial effect on the rest of your life, so it is important that you take the time to collect your thoughts before the session begins. This may include noticing how you are feeling, what you remember of your last session, and any significant incidents, moments and dreams which have occured during the week which you may want to talk about.
During the session:Try not to censor what you say. Talk as openly and freely as you can about what concerns you most and not about what you think the counsellor expects you to talk about. The stage is entirely yours: you do not need to be polite, fill in 'awkward silences' or even be articulate and coherent. You are talking - and at times lapsing into silence - to discover something, so if you jump from one thought to another that's fine. Also, you will have thoughts and feelings about the counsellor - don't politely hide them, tell the counsellor. This can be difficult but working through your reactions to the counsellor with the counsellor can help you understand and resolve difficulties you have in other relationships.
After the session:If possible, it is best not to have work or social arrangements immediately after a session so that, if feelings and memories have emerged, you have time to digest them. Take time, too, to reflect on what occured in the session and anything you might want to give more attention to.
Between sessions:Some clients find it helpful to keep a journal while in therapy. It can provide a place for you to record what went on in the session as well as thoughts, feelings, dreams, insights which you experience during the week. It can take any form - eg. written, drawings, music - but
it is entirely voluntary and for you, and not the counsellor. Some of the benefits can be that you check in regularly with yourself and notice what is going on inside you and, after several months of counselling, to look back and see the changes you have made.
